i was reading this book given by the bf and it was actually really good. not really the kind of book i would have read on a normal basis... but yeah...
you know, before this, i was always asking myself what i really want from a relationship. i always thought that "hey maybe i am asking for too much?" and because of this i always think that maybe i am the selfish and inconsiderate one and after one relationship ended, i focused on putting the other half's interests first over mine on the next 'relationships' i had and that didnt work either. and i got frustrated. i thought to myself, "nothing seems to work. maybe i shouldnt be in one and just...focus on getting to know myself. for a long time, i did just that. i remained single... of course i dated people but they never progressed to a relationship. and i was happy.
why? i gave less and i know myself i shouldnt expect so much in return. and i was happy that way. when one is in a relationship, it is only natural that a female feels the need to give... her heart is overflowing with love and affection and that it is a female thing to give so much. what she expects in return is appreciation, understanding and support back from her partner. and i often didnt get this. maybe that is why it didnt work out before right? it's different now though...
while i still expect a lot, he gave me what i need most and that is a listening ear. he listens, he understands and he doesnt offer unnecessary advice. i often feel annoyed when i am given unwanted advice from a partner. i just want someone to listen and that is what he gives. he listens. he doesnt judge. in return, well... i... i dont know what i do in return but i do hope i am doing the right gf things to do... =p
what else do i want in a relationship?
well...i also need that feeling of security. i need to feel very much secured and safe. i want to know that he wont leave me just like that, that he wont bolt off at the first sign of an obstacle. i also need him to be loyal to just me. i need him to always be there. i need him to know and acknowledge the effort i make for this relationship to work. i need to know that he'd do everything to make me happy. i need to know that he loves me just as much as i love him. i need him to defend me, to protect me, to fight for me. he doesnt need to fight my battles but just knowing that he is right there beside me would mean the world to me.
you know why? cause i would do these things for him. i dont think i am selfish when it comes to giving love and affection. i just need to know that i am giving these to someone who is worth it. not someone who is just up for fun. someone who would only hang around for a while and then go. cause if that is the case, then it's fine for me too. i just wont give so much. i wont love. i wont care. we both can have our little fun and move on.
and i have come to realise that... c'est lui pour moi... et je lui aimerai encore et encore...
you know, before this, i was always asking myself what i really want from a relationship. i always thought that "hey maybe i am asking for too much?" and because of this i always think that maybe i am the selfish and inconsiderate one and after one relationship ended, i focused on putting the other half's interests first over mine on the next 'relationships' i had and that didnt work either. and i got frustrated. i thought to myself, "nothing seems to work. maybe i shouldnt be in one and just...focus on getting to know myself. for a long time, i did just that. i remained single... of course i dated people but they never progressed to a relationship. and i was happy.
why? i gave less and i know myself i shouldnt expect so much in return. and i was happy that way. when one is in a relationship, it is only natural that a female feels the need to give... her heart is overflowing with love and affection and that it is a female thing to give so much. what she expects in return is appreciation, understanding and support back from her partner. and i often didnt get this. maybe that is why it didnt work out before right? it's different now though...
while i still expect a lot, he gave me what i need most and that is a listening ear. he listens, he understands and he doesnt offer unnecessary advice. i often feel annoyed when i am given unwanted advice from a partner. i just want someone to listen and that is what he gives. he listens. he doesnt judge. in return, well... i... i dont know what i do in return but i do hope i am doing the right gf things to do... =p
what else do i want in a relationship?
well...i also need that feeling of security. i need to feel very much secured and safe. i want to know that he wont leave me just like that, that he wont bolt off at the first sign of an obstacle. i also need him to be loyal to just me. i need him to always be there. i need him to know and acknowledge the effort i make for this relationship to work. i need to know that he'd do everything to make me happy. i need to know that he loves me just as much as i love him. i need him to defend me, to protect me, to fight for me. he doesnt need to fight my battles but just knowing that he is right there beside me would mean the world to me.
you know why? cause i would do these things for him. i dont think i am selfish when it comes to giving love and affection. i just need to know that i am giving these to someone who is worth it. not someone who is just up for fun. someone who would only hang around for a while and then go. cause if that is the case, then it's fine for me too. i just wont give so much. i wont love. i wont care. we both can have our little fun and move on.
and i have come to realise that... c'est lui pour moi... et je lui aimerai encore et encore...
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