new habits. new year's resolutions.

- ever since i came here, i got addicted to...yogurt. i love love love yogurt with blackberries or strawberries. i must
have them during breakfast. i even eat them during lunch. they apparently make
you shit more. which is good.

- i like to sleep. it's the easiest way to keep yourself warm.

- i am addicted to my organiser. each day i have a list
of things to do and i am completely obsessed with making sure that all
of them are done.

-i do not have a diary anymore. a diary where i write
my most innerthoughts and my deepest secret. why? because... i dont think i have
so much inner thoughts that i keep to myself these days. i think the diable and the boyfriend and my mother know what i am thinking
without me actually telling anyway...and to think i am thousands of miles away!
my deepest secrets are well-locked. so what is there left to tell to my diary?

- i am obsessed with cleaning. and tidying. and cleaning again and
tidying...again. this is once the mood strikes. which comes more often these
days. for example, yesterday, while i was cleaning the studio, i must have
dusted the place more than ten times. and swept the floor more
than 7 times and oh, wiped the place clean more than 3 times. not to forget...i must have rearranged the furnitures
more than 6 times.

- i love to cook now. before... i used to love to
just bake and just avoid cooking altogether cause i know mom would ask me to
start cooking a lot so..... but since my life now has a non-existent oven, it's
kind of hard to bake. but i LOVE to cook. to cook for myself
that is. ;)

- i have to wash the dishes and this is
what i hate. but since a piled-up dishes waiting to be washed in the sink goes againsnt my cleaning habit... i have to wash them right after i
eat. or cook. and this triggers numerous reactions on my hands and fingers...no,
i am not joking. i cant wash dishes. even the doctor says so!
water+detergent=eczema reactions. and now i have this bloody cut on my right
hand's pointing finger. everytime i move it, it oozes out blood...... sigh.
anyone willing to wash my dishes?

so there you go my new habits... but so far, i dont think i have drastically changed on the inside. like, i dont suddenly go clubbing or partying every night. or start drinking like crazy. why? cause those things bore me. theyre okay if you do it once in a while, you know, like weekends. but i can never understand people who do it EVERY NIGHT. of course, it's their say if they wanna have fun like that. i just dont think i am that kind of person... as much as possible, i do like a quiet night in. listening to my kind of music. reading. studying.

and i do. i do spend so many nights alone. and these nights alone are the times i spent thinking and one of them is... what am i going to do here aside from....studying? i dont want the whole night life scene. not so much anyway. i want to do something productive. then, i decided to start running...soon. one reason why i cant do it now is cause i left my sports shoes in brunei. =p and buying another pair of running shoes here... will take time. with my small size and all. and the money. i also want to do something else. something to do with music. and then i had the greatest idea. but i am going to save it to myself for now. pokoknya, by december, ada tu. and i want to do another sport as well. we'll see.

new year's resolution:

- run
- music
- sports

i miss some people. he's gone missing for a while now. and maybe we're all egoistic in some ways. but that just shows how much that person actually really cares. and in many ways, i am glad that at least now i know for sure. just dont bother anymore.

to the rest, i am not celebrating raya ni. awu tau ku ada raya. and raya food is coming my way thanks to that special someone and also to my very special someone. i just dont want to get all hyped up for raya. for one thing, i am not going to london like i originally planned. and second, i cant even go to paris. financially tight, but that is the life of a student. so i am going to greet you all Raya now. happy raya and this goes to all my loved ones, my hated ones and those people who i wont usually bother saying hello to... sorry for all the mistakes i made, any offense i made on my part, intentionally and unintentionally (is there such a word? indakan inintentionally kan?)

... to him, you greeted me raya on facebook first. atu awal. but i love you anyway. selamat hari raya to you too... and many sorries for being so difficult sometimes.

=)